 A heart-wrenching segment on a recent Today Show features a wife who was forced to divorce her husband after 44 years of marriage. Suggesting the divorce, and also appearing on the show, was Massachusetts ElderLawAnswers member attorney Hyman Darling. The husband of "Roberta" (not her real name) was diagnosed with dementia after the couple had been married more than 40 years. When she became unable to care for him at home, Roberta moved her husband to a nursing home and began paying bills of between $7,500 and $8,000 a month. After she had gone through $75,000, her husband's neurologist suggested that she find "a really good lawyer." Roberta turned to Darling, an elder law attorney with the firm of Bacon & Wilson, P.C., based in Springfield, Massachusetts. Darling suggested to her that, as a last resort, she could terminate her marriage. This would preserve her remaining assets and allow her husband to quickly qualify for Medicaid coverage of his nursing home care. "I was shocked, I was horrified, and I was angry," Roberta says. "But I did what I had to do to survive." The divorce became final one day before the couple's 44th anniversary. Nevertheless, she says, "I never stopped feeling married." The segment also features commentary on Roberta's situation by Ken Budd, features editor at AARP Magazine, and Dr. Janet Taylor, a psychiatrist. Budd calls Roberta's solution an "extreme" one that is becoming increasingly less extreme. "These aren't people who are trying to beat the system," Budd says. "These are people who the system has beaten down so they have to resort to these desperate measures. . . People think Medicare is going to cover everything. That's not the case." Couples who plan in advance with the help of an elder law attorney shouldn't have to face the drastic choice Roberta faced. To find an elder law attorney near you, click here. To view the Today Show segment, which aired March 13, 2010, click here.
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