How Romance Scams Affect Older Adults

Online dating platforms can be good places to meet people to cultivate friendships or romances. However, you need to be careful with whom you interact and how the interaction develops. Cyberspace is full of a growing number of scammers who are seeking to take advantage of people looking for companionship.

Romance scams are among the most devastating forms of fraud, targeting individuals both financially and emotionally. In the United States, older Americans have become particularly vulnerable to these schemes, which often exploit loneliness, trust, and the desire for a romantic partner or new friend. As these scams proliferate, they are leaving lasting emotional scars and financial devastation for countless seniors.

What Are Romance Scams?

A romance scam is when a fraudster creates a fake online persona to build a relationship with a victim, often via a social media or dating platform. Once trust is established, the scammer fabricates an immediate need for money, such as a medical emergency, travel expenses, or investment opportunity, and requests financial assistance. These scams are highly manipulative and often escalate over time, with perpetrators extracting significant sums from their victims.

Warning Signs

Here are some warning signs to look out for as you navigate the online dating scene.

• The photo of the person you are interacting with online doesn’t look real or looks too good to be true.
• A person you just met online wants to stop communicating through the dating platform and instead wants to use instant messaging or email while avoiding video calls or in-person meetups altogether.
• A new online acquaintance lavishes you with attention.
• The person you are developing an online relationship with keeps agreeing to meet in person but always cancels.
• Your online friend suddenly asks for money for an emergency or some other urgent reason.

Older Adults as Primary Targets in Romance Scams

Seniors are disproportionately affected by romance scams due to several factors:

• Social Isolation. Many older adults live alone or have limited social interactions, making them more susceptible to scammers who promise companionship and emotional connection.
• Trusting Nature. Raised in an era when trust was more prevalent, older generations may be less suspicious of online interactions.
• Financial Stability. Seniors may have substantial savings or retirement funds, making them attractive targets for scammers.
• Lack of Digital Literacy. Limited familiarity with online platforms can make it harder for some seniors to recognize the warning signs of a scam.

The Financial and Emotional Toll

According to the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s (FBI) Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3), more than 100,000 older adults (over the age of 60) submitted reports of internet fraud in 2023. These scams amounted to a loss of over $3.4 billion.

Confidence and romance scams were the third-highest type of internet fraud, with 6,740 reported instances over the past year. These scams cost older adults almost $357 million. Many elderly victims lose their life savings, retirement funds, or even their homes.

The emotional effects can be equally devastating. Victims often feel ashamed or embarrassed, making them reluctant to report the crime. This isolation can lead to depression, anxiety, and a diminished sense of trust in others.

How to Protect Against Romance Scams

What steps can you take to protect yourself and your aging family members and friends from romance scams? Keep the following in mind:

For Seniors:

As of 2022, about 17 percent of those age 50 and older said they had used an online dating website or app. Match and eHarmony were the most popular platforms among people in their 50s. Online dating can be much different than traditional dating, so educate yourself before diving into the dating scene.

• Avoid Sharing Personal Information. Be cautious about what you share online. Consider posting no more than is necessary.
• Verify Identities. You can use reverse image searches to check if someone is using stolen photos.
• Be Skeptical of Any Requests for Money. Never send money, cryptocurrency, or gift cards or wire money to someone you haven’t met in person, and do not share your credit card or bank account details.
• Report the Incident. If you have fallen victim to a romance scam, be sure to report the situation to the authorities (read more on this below). You may also consider seeking out the help of a support group specifically for people who have been victimized in this way.

For Families and Caregivers:

For those with aging seniors under their care, understanding the potential signs of romance scammers and how to protect their loved ones is crucial. By staying informed and vigilant, you can help prevent your loved ones from falling victim to these types of scams and ensure they enjoy safe and fulfilling online experiences.

• Engage in Conversations to Protect Aging Loved Ones. Discuss online safety and the risks of romance scams. Encourage your loved one to be wary of anyone who seems to be rushing the relationship or pressuring them to disclose private details.
• Keep an Open Line of Communication. Let them know that they can talk to you about their online interactions without fear of judgment. If they feel uncertain about someone they’ve met online, encourage them to reach out to you for advice. Be empathetic to their situation.
• Monitor Online Activity. Without being intrusive, ensure that seniors are aware of safe online practices.
• Encourage Reporting. Help victims report scams to the FBI, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), or local law enforcement.
  
  Even if the scammer did not succeed in their attempt, call the National Elder Abuse Hotline at 833-FRAUD-11 (833-372-8311) to report the suspected fraud. The hotline has dedicated staff to walk you or your loved one through the reporting process. This past year, the hotline received a total of nearly 60,000 calls and voicemails.

For Communities and Lawmakers:

• Increase Awareness. Public information campaigns aimed at older adults can help them recognize and avoid various types of scams.
• Strengthen Regulations. Enforcing stricter measures on online platforms can reduce the prevalence of fraudulent accounts.

Learn More About Romance Scams

AARP and the U.S. Department of Homeland Security offer additional information and resources related to romance scams. You can also consult an experienced elder law attorney near you to learn more about online predatory practices aimed at older adults, as well as other elder law-related issues.

For additional reading on topics related to elder abuse and fraud, check out the following articles:

• Detecting and Dealing With Elder Financial Abuse
• New Federal Law Puts Focus on Preventing Elder Abuse
• What Is Elder Abuse? Elder Law Q&A
• Medicare Fraud Prevention: Avoid Health Care Scams